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Independence and Maturity  

2009-04-17 09:51:51|  分类: 英语文章 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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Independence and Maturity

Whenever I meet people from abroad, they often ask me questions like “What do you think of the One-child policy in your country?” And I always tell them this is not something for debate. It’s a government policy and every citizen is supposed to abide by. Just go to the street and have a look. Then you will realize that we in fact have no choice but to put this policy into practice, though nobody can deny it will bring about some side effects, negative ones. Lack of independence and maturity of the only child in the family is one of them.

When the only child is born, it has brought its parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts great joy and hope. Everything used or needed for it must be of the best quality. Parents, out of their own will, or under the pressure of grandparents and other relatives and friends, make every decision for the child, including the food he/she should eat, the toys he/she should play with, the kindergarten he/she must attend, the school he/she must study in, the friends he/she should make, the major he/she must take in the university, hunting for a good job for him/her, and even selecting a wife or husband for him/her. The list is endless! On the part of the child, he/she doesn’t need to do anything but follow the arrangements made by parents, just like a puppet. If he/she complains, parents will say they do all these things just for the sake of their love to him/her. If he/she disagrees or even rebels, there will be a terrible storm in the family, and he/she will be reminded that as the only hope of the family, he/she has to shoulder the responsibility.

I have a theory: The most capable parents often raise the most incapable children, while the most incapable parents usually have the most capable children. In some sense, it works.

Many parents are afraid that their children may make terrible mistakes and decisions for lack of experience and judgment power. But how can they gain experience if they are never allowed to make any decision on their own? They might make mistakes, but they will learn valuable lessons from these mistakes and become mature. Only in this way can they grow up and live independently.

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